You say you will do anything for your kids. You love them very much. You’d even die for them. And maybe, in your heart, you truly mean this.
These words and voices played in my head for a very long time as i could not match the words and actions that came from the same people. My dad said same yet he failed, my ex husband said same again he failed. You see, love, real love isn’t found in what we say but rather, It’s in what we do every single day as a parent, a dad to be precise. i have also, lived to see many men around me, and on the internet having same garment on. I can’t help it but sometimes, i worry about what this world want us to accept as love‘.
You see, love, real love isn’t found in what we say but rather, It’s in what we do every single day as a parent, as a dad in this case. If you abuse their mother, If you chase after other women, drink excessively, smoke like you’ve lost hope… If you tear apart their one peaceful home, justifying it by saying you’re “polygamous by nature”… or you re the man of the house so you can do any how you please including beating and damaging the bodies and mind of their mother, then, no matter what you say, your actions will always speak louder.
Louder to their hearts. Louder to their future. I am 40, yet these events still play in my head as if it were yesterday, and again i ask how could you say you love me, yet put me through so much pain & trauma as a kid?
kids listen with their ‘eyes’ more than with their ears. So, yes they are listening. sadly all of the above and more also happens in Christians homes even though the bible reminds us on how to love in 1 John 3:18
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
” I can die for my kids”
So many people say, “I would die for my kids. But your children don’t need you to die for them. They need you to live for them, and not just live but live intentionally for their good and growth.
They need you to be present, to be stable and to protect their peace.They need you to apologise when you’re wrong, to heal what’s broken in you, to stop the cycle so they don’t have to fight to do so.
Your kids don’t need your perfection, they need your consistent effort to be present in a healthy way because your home should be their first taste of safety not their first wound. Too many of us got our first wounds from our home as kids, this must not be the case for our kids. let( be intentional) . Seek wisdom & counsel, in the words of Proverbs 20:7 “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”
So let’s stop hiding behind big words, empty promises and start showing up with better actions.
Let our love be the kind that heals, not hurts those who we say matters the most to us. let our love builds, and not break their safe place.
This world is tired of broken promises. Let yours be the love that rewrites the story for you, your kids and the society. It’s not late, You can start now, while you still have Oxygen in you.
Today i pray this finds you well, and may it be a starting point for your journey, a journey of real love language & actions towards your kids and your home.